Redemption.
Does it exist? No. At least that’s the impression one gets if you’re tuned into popular culture and social media. The cancel culture in the Twitterverse is in full effect. Make one mistake and you’re ruined. One and done. Redemption, it seems, is a thing of the past.
Every time someone is accused of one infraction or another and someone starts a new hashtag — that will go viral — urging people to stop supporting so and so, redemption crosses my mind. This happens about every other week.
Do people deserve forgiveness after making a mistake or committing a crime? What is forgivable? What isn’t? Who decides? What does one do to show contrition in order to gain redemption?
Isn’t being held accountable, learning your lesson and improvement what we say we want; what forgiveness requires?
For some, yes. For others, not so much.
The death of Kobe Bryant brought these questions back to mind. Bryant’s sexual assault allegation will always be a footnote in his story. From everything I saw, Bryant learned his lesson. More important than apologizing, Bryant actually demonstrated remorse by changing his behavior. He wasn’t flaunting it in our face by singing about it a la R. Kelly. He actually became a more likable guy afterward, showing personality, not just being a basketball robot.
So, if Bryant improved, why hold it against him? Why were some upset when he won the Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film for “Dear Basketball” in 2018. The #MeToo Movement was in full swing, so there was no way Bryant would escape hard feelings and discussions about the rape allegation.
Should we discard Gayle King because of the questions she posed to Lisa Leslie about Bryant after his death? Does Snoop Dogg get a pass for what he said about King?
Comedians Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart, Roseanne Barr and Ellen Degeneres have all been victims of cancel culture. Usually, they’ve offended a group or groups of people. Are celebrities allowed to make a mistake without the cancel culture mob descending with pitchforks and torches, or should we look back over time to see a history of multiple offenses? When is the time to forgive? When do we cancel?
What about regular folk who get caught being racist or homophobic? Should they be fired from their jobs? What about someone who committed a crime? Does it matter when that crime was committed or what the crime was? Is committing a murder ever forgivable? What if that murder happened when someone was 19 and he or she is now 72?
We say if someone did their time, they should be allowed to live a normal life, but how many of us look at someone differently when we learn of a criminal past? We often want redemption for our past transgressions but are unwilling to offer the same to others.
I must admit as I think about redemption more and more, I realize I’m just as inconsistent as everyone else. Part of it boils down to connection to and sincerity on the part of the transgressor. We tend to be more lenient when we know the person and recognize the mistake isn’t the sum of the person. When we don’t know someone it’s easier to have a knee-jerk reaction.
We should definitely cancel certain behavior — and those who continually display these behaviors — but we could all offer a little more grace for people who make mistakes because they’re, you know, human.
