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Thursday, March 28, 2024

An ode to Black fathers

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It seems the world is hell bent on tearing down Black men, and listing the various stereotypes that mainstream media uses to portray them would only be adding insult to injury. These negative stereotypes only intensify when referring to Black fathers. The notion that they are absent or deadbeat dads is not only an extreme generalization, itā€™s simply untrue.

I was blessed to be raised by two wonderful parents, Janet and Keith Smith. Though we didnā€™t always have much in terms of material wealth, I was never without what I needed, and I appreciate the love they offered and the values they instilled in me. But things were not always peaches and cream.

When my mother found out she was pregnant, my parents were unmarried and my dad was attending college two hours away from my motherā€™s home in Indianapolis. Needless to say, she was a bit apprehensive about the future. One day at church, a visiting pastor gave her some words of encouragement. He stopped her after the service to deliver a message. ā€œDonā€™t worry, Keith is going to come back for her,ā€ he said, leaving my mother wondering how he knew my fatherā€™s name and her unborn babyā€™s gender.

After I was born, my dad left school and moved back to Indy. For the first few years of my life, we lived in a small apartment in a part of town that was considered rough. He worked as a correctional officer at a juvenile correctional facility that was located in Plainfield, commuting an hour to work each day and saving up for a wedding over a period of two years. Though I was only 6 at the time and didnā€™t fully understand the significance behind what was happening, I appreciated getting to witness my parents trade vows. Wanting us to have a better place to live, Dad eventually purchased a home on the cityā€™s east side, which is where I was raised.

Growing up, my family had its share of financial ups and downs, but there was always a foundation of love. However, I admire and appreciate the sacrifices he made and continues to make for our family. I watched the way he took care of my mother and me growing up, getting up in the wee hours of the morning so he could be at his first job by 6 a.m., and not coming home from his second job until 2 in the morning. To this day, he still works one full-time and one part-time job. He was willing to do what he had to do to keep the lights on and food on the table. However, he always made time for the people he loved and continues to be the type of person who looks out for those in need. He has taught me responsibility and love, to put others ahead of yourself and to never give up on your dreams.

Though my father is extraordinary, he isnā€™t the only father out there putting his family first. There are tons of Black men stepping up to the plate, raising families and setting great examples for their children. There are also amazing single fathers raising children on their own, and men stepping up as mentors for children who are not blood-related. To all the Black fathers out there, we see you and we know the negative stereotypes arenā€™t true. You are needed, loved and appreciated.

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