Rigorous introspection is one of the most important processes in which people should engage regularly. Closely examining our emotions, our motivations, our values — and our imperfections — immeasurably benefits us.
Doing so is crucial to understanding who we are at our core. In turn, this greater knowledge of self helps us to make better sense of the world around us, as well as more clearly understand the people (family, friends, co-workers, strangers) with whom we interact.
One thing that we learn in our journey of self-discovery is that we are full of contradictions. By “we” I mean all of us. Every single one of the nearly 8 billion people who inhabit this planet.
For example, I forcefully argue (and genuinely believe) that Michelle Obama would make an excellent president. She is, far and away, my top choice to replace Donald Trump. (I am deeply troubled that she has chosen not to run for the office.) Despite this fact, I acknowledge that I have sexist beliefs. Though my having overtly sexist thoughts is not a frequent occurrence, it would be dishonest of me to deny that they exist in my head and in my heart.
By no means am I unique in this regard. Nearly all men — if they’re willing to be honest — could make similar admissions. The fact that there are several social (and perhaps biological) reasons that this is true is irrelevant in many ways.
Further, the fact that women can be sexist against other women is also irrelevant when it comes to acknowledging men’s gender bigotry. Men must own our… “stuff.” Deflecting one’s guilt by pointing to another’s guilt is emotionally and psychologically stunted. And it doesn’t fool anyone.
In the same way, white people can experience genuine comradery and even love for Black people — yet harbor very racist views against us. Having “Black friends” (or family members) does not cancel or excuse racism, any more than being a man who extols leadership qualities in women cancels sexism. Similarly, my gay Black friends can confirm that they encounter racism from their white counterparts (and homophobia from people like me). Membership in any “group” does not inoculate us from being bigoted against any other group.
Several years ago, I attended an anti-racism workshop that was sponsored by my employer. As I recall, I was the only 40-ish Black male in the sessions.
Several white participants went out of their way to assert how terrible racism was. They condemned stereotypes and castigated other whites who were “obviously” racist. At one point I asked the group if they would be afraid to be in close proximity to an unfamiliar group of Black male youth while walking toward them — at night. Two white women vehemently denied that they would be.
They were quite surprised when I said that “I” would likely be uncomfortable in that situation. Silence ensued, which made it clear that I had gotten my point across: All of us, no matter how “progressive” we consider ourselves to be, are afflicted with deep-seated biases.
It wasn’t my intent to get my colleagues to admit that they were members of some racist cabal. Rather, my point was simply that white people — of all political stripes — should stop pretending that they don’t have any fear of Black people (especially men and boys). And, as Black people, we should not pretend that we don’t have similar types of fears about other Black people.
Once we discover the ugly things about our personalities, we have a responsibility to change them. Merely accepting “human nature” is an immoral cop-out. We must strive each day to recognize, and to root out, anything that devalues the full humanity of other people. We can view our differences as positive, or we can view them as negative. Today is as good a day as any to choose the former.
Larry Smith is a community leader. Contact him at larry@leaf-llc.com.
