The other night, on my way home from the office, I had a moment.
“If it was a Black man that had raped two little white girls, what would have happened?” asked one of the passengers on my bus. The topic of discussion was Shana Taylor, a former IPS employee.
Tuesday, it was announced that Taylor would not receive any jail time after pleading guilty to three felony counts of dissemination of materials harmful to minors. Taylor, 38, was accused of having sex with two underage students (one of them aged 16) while working as a counselor in a program for alternative education.
The court documents detail some pretty lascivious findings. Reportedly, Taylor had an ongoing sexual relationship with one of the boys where they would meet in different locations, one of them being her office. The other boy came into the situation via a threesome, which took place at the first boy’s home.
Despite the accusations and reports, Taylor will not see the inside of a penitentiary. She will instead serve six years of home detention, and it is not yet known whether or not she will have to register as a sex offender.
I hate to speculate, but what my fellow passenger mentioned struck a chord with me. What would have happened if a Black man had seduced and sexed two white students? I am afraid that we would be witnessing an entirely different judgment.
That does upset me, but what upsets me more is the overarching issue of male sexual abuse. This is not an isolated occurrence. Right now, there are Shana Taylors in all sectors of our society.
I have encountered many men who have shared with me that their first sexual encounters took place with a woman who was much older than they were. In one instance, it was a babysitter; another time, a cousin. A friend of mine said he had a sexual relationship with an older woman in his neighborhood. He recounted to me how she stopped him one day. She remarked to him how she’d seen him around and wanted him to start visiting her. He was a teenager at the time, and by his own account, he was feeling himself. He took her advances as a compliment … an indicator of his worth and his “manhood.” She gave him the attention and care he wasn’t receiving elsewhere. She would run him baths and fix his plate before anyone else’s, even her own children.
As my friend told me his story and I looked in his eyes while he gazed ahead, no doubt reliving the situation, I felt for him both sadness and grief. He had been groomed by this woman and taken advantage of. I mentioned to him, softly and carefully, that what happened wasn’t right, and it wasn’t his fault. A beat passed, and his tenderness gave way to his usual braggadocios demeanor. It was “no big deal,” but we both knew that was a lie.
A young boy being involved physically or romantically with an older woman is, to some, seen as a badge of honor, but no one wants to take a moment to address the hurt that comes along with that perverse rite of passage.
Statistics show that, as of 1998, 2.78 million men in the U.S. had been victims of attempted or completed rape, and one out of every 10 rape victims are male. Broader studies have uncovered the fact that many rape victims fail to report, so it is safe to say that these numbers could be much worse.
I am grateful that, despite the ridiculous negligence on all levels of leadership within the district, Taylor saw her day in court. I am also grateful that elected officials like Karlee Macer (D-Indianapolis) are advocating for harsher penalties on individuals like Taylor.
I am saddened, however, to think about how this scenario will play out in the lives of these young people. How will this encounter affect their relationships with women in the future? Will they be able to have healthy interactions, or will they go the route of many victims of sexual assault and chase the ghosts of their past? Will they self-medicate with illicit substances to ease the pain?
There is no silver bullet to ending or preventing sexual abuse, but there are precautions that can be taken. One step is to establish an open line of communication in your home; there shouldn’t be anything happening in your child’s life that they are scared to share with you. Another tool is to create a family safety plan to address what physical boundaries are and what to do if something bad does happen.
None of us can play judge or jury to Taylor; that ship has sailed. Her fate, whether physical or spiritual, is not our concern or responsibility. She will have to do her own work and pay her own penance. None of us can undo what has been done to these boys, but what we can do is work to protect our babies, all of them, from the Shana Taylors of the world.
